WISER THAN ME – Kumi Project
Last Friday we hosted a group of amazing women taking part in “Kumi” project, which we mentioned few weeks ago. Kumi calls on women to step up, take initiative, and create a strong female presence in key leadership positions in the western Negev. It is a women-led program aimed at fostering local leadership – a small but crucial first step on the journey.
We first encountered the “Kumi” project, run by Chen Shohami Hadad, on a tour of the Gaza Envelope after the October 7th. On the tour, we discussed the importance of women communities, who support each other, create their own reality, and encourage growth.
At this week’s event in our studio, we not only talked, but also saw how it happens. A group of women, sharing a destiny, and how together everything is much better than alone. Thank you for the opportunity to get to know you and allow you to take a short break from reality. For the last time this Month, we celebrate with the women of “Kumi” and the women they love and who have taught them a thing or two in their lives.
One of the things I learned from my late grandmother Esther is how to choose a husband. Ever since we were little, she would always sit with all her granddaughters and explain how to choose a partner for a happy marriage. She always emphasized the three most important qualities in a partner: wisdom, diligence, and sensitivity. Grandma Esther had a great belief that the basis for a successful relationship is when the partner demonstrates these qualities. She always said that every woman looking for a good and successful relationship should look for these three things – wisdom, diligence, and sensitivity. I was lucky and found an amazing partner who met Grandma Esther’s criteria, and over the years, as I grew older, I realized how critical these qualities really are. I see how they are expressed on a daily basis and understand why they are so significant for a successful relationship. So to anyone who is single and still looking for the one – listen to Grandma Esther’s words.
My dear grandmother Sara Hadad was an amazing woman, full of love and care for everyone. Despite her great pain as a mother who lost her son, and who lost her eyesight in the bombings in Tunis, she was always there to listen, help and support, to welcome guests unconditionally with endless warmth and care. She never spoke ill of others, always maintained everyone’s dignity, and was a true example of good manners and a life full of love. Her caring and her ability to give unconditional love always influenced everyone around her. She would sing for the bride and, on the other hand, lament in grief.
She was a cornerstone in my life, always praying, waiting and expecting to see my children and always asking for – take care of the children and your husband (those who know my story understand…) I will continue in God’s name her legacy of love, giving and upholding values. Rest in peace, beloved grandmother. You will always remain in my heart until we meet again… Love and miss you.
Tamar K’amarnaz Shachani, my grandmother, came from Persia to Israel – a Zionist woman, pure in her body, home and in her words, and even the community theater I founded in Merhavim – “Tamar Theater” is named after her. She taught me feminism and equality, to be true to myself and to be in unconditional love. Grandma Tamar is my inspiration and is always with us – even with those who did not get to know her in life. A beautiful, moral grandmother, a loving mother to her children and the founder of Moshav Maslul, in the western Negev. Proud to be her granddaughter.
My grandmother, Madelene (Helen) Hajaj, taught me the profound essence of what it means to be a woman in this world. Every time I would come to her, she would ask if I had any cash in my wallet and remind me that there is no such thing as being without money. She instilled in me the understanding that a woman should not be dependent – not on a man, not on anyone else – but to always take care of herself and build her independence.
Although she was Tunisian, from a different era, she was a feminist in her way. She loved women and wanted daughters and granddaughters more than anything. Sons? They interested her less. At every granddaughter’s wedding she always spoiled her with a gift four times larger than a grandson’s – simply because we are women.
She was a housewife, but that did not make her any less independent. She had her own money, she made decisions about how to run her day, and she had an admirable relationship with my grandfather. Devoted, loyal, but also strong and independent.
It’s been 12 years since she passed away, and I miss her every day. I miss her in ways that are hard to describe, but I feel like she’s with me in every decision I make. I miss the times we would sit together on the couch, laughing at silly things, giving her nicknames from soap operas, braiding her hair, and listening to her stories – about her childhood, the struggles she went through, and how nothing could stop her.
She was a rare woman, and will forever be my role model for life.
One of the things I learned from my late grandmother is patience. In her late years, my grandmother, Frida, lost the ability to see and instead gained another ability, to feel. She would sit in her living room and say to me in Arabic, “Ihada ya bintee, calm down.” And I would stop and pay attention to myself. My grandmother passed away when I was 12, but the feeling that she can feel me accompanies me in life. When I’m a little stressed or feeling overwhelmed, I imagine her saying to me, “Ihada ya bintee.”
My grandmother Julia Hasan, was very organized – but really! She always said: “If there is something you don’t use today – put it aside. If you won’t use it tomorrow either – put it aside. And on the third day? Throw it in the trash! So why wait? From the first day – put it straight in the trash…”. She taught me that a tidy house also helps a tidy mind. A clear table is not only pleasing to the eye – it calms the mind. Everything should have a place, and if there is no place for something, it might be unnecessary. When you finish something – you put it back in its place immediately. You don’t leave it “for tomorrow”, because tomorrow comes with its own new mess… and although she was strict, it always came with a smile and love. Because order, for her, was another way to take care of ourselves and the people around us.
What I learned from Grandma Rachel Menachem, the late – a woman of strength, faith and roots, was born and raised in the tropical village of Chenemangalam in Cochin, far south India – a place of magical landscapes, ancient Jewish tradition and a simple yet meaningful lifestyle.
She left her homeland and immigrated to the land of Israel out of burning Zionism and love for the Land , imbued with mission and faith. A multitude of white clothes hang on the rope… drying and patiently waiting for the next great day.
Thus, year after year, Grandma Rachel prepared for Yom Kippur – not out of weakness, but out of strength, with the faith of a woman who stands before God and demands, thanks, prays and leads her life and her family forward. She taught me that there is no need for intermediaries, that there is no fear in dealing with the past and that through the power of prayer, diligence and determination – a better future can be created.
Grandma Rachel, not only did she educate and raise 13 children, she was also the leader, the entrepreneur and the beating heart of her family. She managed the household, grew grain and fruit, cooked, sold, created and made sure that the nest she built would prosper. She did all this with modesty and humility, without fuss, without demands – but out of faith, responsibility and endless love.
She connected me to my roots not only through her stories and actions, but also through her poetry. One of the songs she sang to me, the one that continues to resonate with me to this day, is a piyyut from the Cochin Jewish House: “Arise, O people of my faith, arise and ascend to the mountain of the Lord…”
This poem connected me to our tradition, to our precious land, and to the power of a woman. Because a woman, as Grandma Rachel proved, can be the pillar of her family, her community, and her people – all through the power of her faith, her intelligence, her hard work, and the singing of her heart.
And the next morning, the white clothes were hanging on the clothesline again, waiting for the holy day that would come next year…
My grandmother is my inspiration. She taught me that the path to success goes through hard work, love, and commitment. That it goes through prayer, singing, and action. And that a woman’s greatest strength is knowing that she can.
